Shopping Alone

I know that I use this blog mostly for talking about my writing, but now it is time for me to bring in my life as a military wife again.


I am currently going through what almost all military wives will eventually struggle with, deployment. I have been through the literature and that fun advice that everyone gives you. While nice and all, it doesn't really prepare you for being alone with only a dog. It would be lovely if there was information targeted towards childless wives, but alas there is not. They just kind of lump you in with those that have one to twenty screaming brats. I don't have any yet. Like I said, it's just me and the dog.


I've summed it up to being much like this: It's like living single, but with none of the benefits. I shop alone, make my own messes, clean up just such messes and the dog's, sleep alone, and sit in one super unsettling silence. The worst part is that the housing gave us a four bedroom place (I won't call it a house since it's part of a duplex) that once seemed so wonderful, but is now too big for just me. It's lonely.


Despite what I said above, I have been handling it well until I undertook my first big deployed spouse task, grocery shopping. For one. The routine I once had was blown out of the water in my new need for single portions. I spent a good part of an hour staring at shelves and glass-faced coolers trying to figure out what to get without killing myself with sodium.


I will let you know how cooking single portions goes, because that is certainly going to be a fun challenge.


Aside from the food selection issue, a thought smacked into me with the force of a truck. Shopping for one person, when it should be two, is depressing. I knew that as I pushed my cart around the commissary people could tell I was shopping for one person. It saddened me. It should be two, two people, not one.


Living by yourself when there used to always be another person around is a shock. There really aren't any other words for it. Even if you have a job or a hobby to fill your time, in between there are still the quiet spaces. It's those spaces in which you can hear the air conditioner, the fridge, and the noises  your dog makes when he's sleeping. That's when I realize it's time to go bang on some pots because my husband isn't here to do it for me.


This is certainly going to be an interesting ride.

The Love I Give To Chapter 9

Ah, Chapter 9. You are the biggest headache of my life right now.


I know my overly dramatic statement might seem like hyperbole, but in all honesty, I think my finances are easier at this point. I have a couple longer chapters to revise, yet none are quite so depressing as 9. There is death, weeping, and all the horrible sentences I wrote when I was putting converting it to a digital medium. You see, 9 is the chapter where I learned my lesson that you should never be bored with what you write, or bored while you write. Then, when you go back and revise you get this...

I know. Isn't it such a lovely mess, but it doesn't end there. I have plenty more where that came from.

Yes, those are post-it notes. I had to come up with something to put entire chapter rewrites on since I print double sided. (Although, the first copy I made of the revision I flubbed and printed single side. 25 pages wasted when I could have cut that in half. Sorry, trees.)

I know that some of you reading this are saying that is how they should look after a good, hard editing session. A writer should cut out the sentences and words that are unneeded. Dialogue and descriptions that aren't up to par should be rewritten or chucked in the garbage can to be taken away with the refuse, but here is the thing that shouldn't happen. An editing session on a chapter shouldn't take two weeks. Yes, folks. Two whole weeks, maybe even longer.

You see, when writing this initially, I was bored out of my mind. I wanted to get it done so bad that I wrote a ton of whitewash boring sentences. There was no flavor, no spice, no love to them. Then I had to fix them. The reason it took so long, is that when I found myself feeling tired, I put it aside. I did not want 9 to have no flavor like it did before. I wanted it to be engaging. I wanted it to be filled with the love of the craft. 

I don't know if I have succeeded at this point. I still have one more revision to do on it before I repost it up at my sources. Then it will be allowed to join the pile.

Above is the pile of folders for the Prologue through chapter 8. They wait patiently for me to put 9 through 14 with them, maybe even 15 since I'm almost done. I guess I will just have to take up the NaNoWriMo call and finish my novel before the end of November. (Thanks for making me feel guilty, Typewriter Mike.) Whether I get there or not depends on how persistent I am...

... and how good Skyrim is.

If you know me, text me, email me, Facebook me, or kick me and tell me to get my ass going. I know my husband isn't going to be the one to light the fire under my ass.